"I think I'm moving, but I'm going nowhere.
Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared."
I can feel myself getting sick. It is awful, I have way too much to do- I can't afford time to get better. I am constantly thinking, but my thoughts aren't even coherent. It's not like they're circling, or analyzing. They are just randomly darting around. I need to get this done.
I am just really frustrated beyond belief. I want to say I'm better for it, but I don't even know that for a fact. I feel like all that's left is animosity towards it. Almost blind rage, but maybe just blinding from what's really lurking underneath.
The fact that I swallowed all my fear and I let change take over less than seven months ago, I thought was enough. Now, that I have built up my comfort zone here, I have to prepare once again for it to be stripped away. Not really knowing if my former one is even in existence.
I wish that there was some way to get everything in my head down. I want to make this a regular, daily occurrence.
I can only hope.
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