I think my business has led me to not feel anything real the past two days. and now its hit me. I am surprised that this is the first time I've cried since i've been here. but I think I'm crying for all the wrong reasons. I don't feel the gut-wrenching pain I did when I left last year. I don't hurt with every ounce of my being. Is this growing up? Something tells me that it's not and that there's something else on my brain. I love him, I don't have to convince myself of that. I just want this to be simpler. I don't want to give anything up. anything. Even though I'm supposed to. But I won't let go of anything I hold. No matter what I let go of, I'm going to get hurt. And possibly hurt someone else. I can't bear the thought of that right now. I think I'm making everything out to be much more difficult and complicated than it is. I have blogged three times in the course of 24 hours. I think I have a problem.
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