Twisted Logic

I want out of this tangled mess I created. I want to see you. I can't see you. I shouldn't see you. But yet, I'm somehow happy in despite all the madness. I don't have to turn it into something huge, if I don't want to. I can let it linger at this harmless level. But something tells me, I'm supposed to cut it off completely. But what if I don't want to.