Tuesday Confessionals.

It's been a while, but I will try my best.

+ I am easily impressed, but even quicker to be unimpressed.
+ I lie a lot and I'm good at it too. Which isn't really something to take pride in, but its the truth.
+ Moving out made me grow a pair.
+ I can't wait to move out again.
+ Sometimes I feel suffocated and I need my space, but that doesn't mean I want to leave.

rewind.

take a step back. I wonder how you'd feel if you knew what you were indirectly causing. I could never hurt like that. Regardless how many daggers you want to throw at me. I know that I am capable, but I'm really not. I can shoot the gun, but I can't handle the recoil. I am strong, but I am needy. I won't ever let you get the best, or the worst, of me. I am not really being sensible or coherent. I am not even writing down anything logical or linked together. I just know that I couldn't and I wouldn't. Despite what the places that I've been try to throw back down into my throat. Been there done that. Life is so fucking repetitive that I wonder why I'm still surprised when it cycles again. I wish I could show you exactly how you're being. I wish i knew who I was talking about when I say you. I leave for Florida in less than a week. I have never needed the escape more.

ignite your bones.

I am so fucking irritated. With everything. I am tired of all this fucking bullshit. I am bracing myself for this weekend. It could either be really fucking awesome, or it could be horrible. Either way, I plan on being way to drunk to even remotely care. Despite all of my annoyances I am willing to suck up my pride about all of the things that really bother me about everyone.

I really can't believe it has come to this. I am really truly disappointed. The outcome totally blind-sided me. I had totally different expectations. And along with my disappointment is a lot of freaking anger. I mean REALLY?! This is how its going to be here on in? It better fucking not be. Not if I have my say in anything. I can only allow so much of a grace period. Then I'm really going to snap.

I can't sleep without dreaming something fucked up. And waking up in the middle of the night. I need to get some legit rest if I'm going to make it through the rest of the week.

today.

Just one of those days, well nights, where I can't hold my own head up. And every little thing hits me like a ton of bricks and I can't breathe in my anxiety. But I will put on a brave front, because I have a life to live and I can't let it hold me down. Not anymore. When all the stupid little things pile up my brain goes into overdrive. I should probably get to sleep before I have another melodramatic fit.

sharpen your teeth; sink into me.

I am bored. I always complain about having no free time. And now I've got plenty of it and I am so bored. baaah, i really want tomorrow to come.