swallowed in the sea.

you put me on a shelf & kept me to yourself

I can only blame myself

you can only blame me.

...

& I could write it down and spread it all around.

get lost and then get found or swallowed in the sea.

you put me on a line & hung me out to dry

and darling that's when I decided to go and see you.

you cut me down to size and opened up my eyes

made me realize what I could not see.

How could I not have learned my lesson the first million times? How could I have thought it would've been okay?

I don't need to forgive you, I need to forgive myself. For letting myself believe in you again and again. I need to forgive myself for pretending and making it seem like this was going to make me happy. It's only myself that brought upon my own torment. I don't know what I was thinking. But how can I forgive myself when the memory of you taunts me day in and day out. I will deal with this. I will get over this.

yeah, right. That's what I said the first million times.